New Year

Our church celebrated New Year's eve by throwing a party at our lead pastor's house. It was crazy. We had close to 40 people. Lots of food, games and crazy kids running around the house. We had a great time in fellowship. We came home around 10pm, put Tyler to sleep and stayed up to watch the New Year's celebration in NYC.

This time last year, I was suffering from terrible morning sickness and our house was a mess...boxes everywhere from having just moved into this new place. This year, our house is full of joy and laughter from having little Tyler around. What a difference a year makes! Looking back, the past year has been one of the most eventful years of my entire life. Being pregnant, adjusting to a new city, new house, new life as church planter, finding new friends, my brother getting married, welcoming Tyler into the world and being welcomed into motherhood. That's a lot of things happening in one year. And, like every year, there were many ups and many downs, but through it all, God's faithfulness and goodness are seen in every sentence, every paragraph, every page.

My favorite thing to do as I welcome a new year is look back at the wonderful, awesome things God has done in the passing year. It gives me hope and assurance, knowing that this coming year will be just as good, if not better. By "good" or "better", I understand that my definition of "good" and "better" might be completely different than God's, but the God I trust in is a God of love and a God of righteousness...so even if there's suffering coming my way, I know it's not for just for the sake of suffering. Everything is part of something bigger, though I may not understand while going through it.

I can't believe we've been doing church planting for a year now. Honestly, I can't say that we have accomplished a great deal of things. Church planting continues to be one of the most challenging things we've ever done. There are times when quitting seems to be the easiest solution. But, lately, God has been reminding us of something very important. It's not about results, but about obedience. It's a hard lesson, especially when we're all so driven by results...But, we must continue being faithful and obedient. I know God has a purpose for it all.

Something has hit me quite hard the past few days. Reflecting about the past year in church planting, I've been feeling a bit down. I feel as though my education and preparation in seminary has done nothing to equip me for what we're doing now. Countless hours studying, reading, going to lectures, writing papers, doing all sorts of stuff....but I can't seem to use any of it here. The first things that crossed my mind were "Gosh, maybe I really didn't learn anything at all" and "Maybe I've already forgotten everything I've ever learned! What a waste of education, time and really, MONEY!" Then, as I was reading a book about making disciples, God allowed me to see something. When you're trying to share Christ or disciple someone, the most important and effective thing is not methodogy or even a bunch of knowledge. What's really important is your EXPERIENCE with God. Suddenly, it dawned on me. Maybe the reason why I havent' been effective for Christ is because I have been lacking in the "experience department". It's so easy to get caught up in methods and in "doing things". I'm such a busybody (if you don't believe me, read the last couple or few blog entries). I try to find as many things to "do" but I haven't been sitting and enjoying God's presence like I should... like I need to. I'm all Martha and not much of Mary. Sometimes, it even seems as though I'm proud of being a Martha...It's quite humbling when God shows us things we need to work on. But, I'm thankful that at least He's done it with gentleness and love. :) AND, He's incredibly graceful and patient.

So, my prayer as I begin 2007 is be summed up with the words of the song "One Pure and Holy Passion":

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Jesus give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You

To know and follow hard after You
To grow as Your disciple in the truth
This world is empty pale and poor
Compared to knowing You my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after You

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith."

Paul - Phil.3:7-9

Happy New Year!